I’m sure you heard the phrase terrible twos many times, but they never tell you how difficult it can be to raise a teenager. The mood swings, the back talk & the attitude! 😑Oh geez I wish they would have told me before how this was gonna go, lol. I think as your kids get older it’s only a different phase but I don’t think parenting gets easier , who agrees? It’s all just different chapters and you have to find different ways to tackle each situation as it comes. There is no perfect child and there is no perfect parent but we owe them the very best of ourselves if we decided to bring them into the world. After my son was born all my friends were going out and partying and they had every right to we were young. I made a decision that I needed to be responsible for my son and make the right choices. I’ve been told I have somewhat of an old soul and I do believe that as I never was into drinking , smoking , partying. Don’t get me wrong I love to have fun, love to laugh I would say I am pretty funny.😉 I love listening to music and dancing is one of my favorite things to do but I think there is a healthy balance and limit to all that. I occasionally have a drink or two but life is so much more than that in my opinion. There is this quote that stuck out to me from a very long time ago “ Raise children that don’t have to recover from their childhood” which has been my goal. We have so many adults walking around today with unhealed trauma and they are projecting that onto their husbands/wives and even children and that leads to more trauma and more pain for generations to come.
I was 19 when I became pregnant with my older son and my parents were livid to say the least as they didn’t want that for me. At the time I didn’t think of the future , I was naive and I would say some if not most young people think only in the moment. I ended up getting married without knowing what a real marriage consisted of and back then it seemed like the right thing to do since we had a child together. The marriage only last about a year and my son never was able to experience a family ( me and his dad together) I know now that their are a lot of families like this, but it did hurt my heart for a very long time as all I wanted was my son to have a family. I would love to say that it never affected him but now that he is older we have spoken and he doesn’t remember us being together and he is fine because this is all he knows but deep down I’m sure it has hurt him at times. The positive part of things was that he has always had a good set of grandparents his dads, and my parents who have always been there as the greatest support system. All 4 of them love him so much and he is the first grand baby so he gets a lot of love. Co-parenting wasn’t always easy ( that probably should get its own blog post , lol) but now that I’m older and I have my faith and relationship with God I’ve dealt with all those feelings of “mom guilt “ and honestly things really turned out the way they were supposed to I wouldn’t change a thing. What I do want to say is anytime someone asks me for advice.. I say don’t rush to have kids with anyone and my opinion is to wait until your married and do things the right way. You definitely don’t want to bring kids into the world with the wrong person or someone you don’t really know that well and everyone suffer for your choices. This is happening every day and you want your kids to see there mother and father really LOVE, APPRECIATE and RESPECT each other with actions not just words. No home is perfect but; respect = love and that is evident in a healthy home. It will affect your kids and how they treat who they end up with in the future.
He is going to start driving soon and working god willing so I am a bit nervous 🤔but again it’s another stage of life and it’s important for him to start being responsible. He is a young man and needs to experience certain situations so that he can learn how to face them. As parents we can’t always save them even if we want to and they have to learn how to face life on their own.
My son will be 16 in a few weeks and I get more emotional as he gets older. He is an amazing kid, he has good grades, he is so kind hearted, he is great to his brother and I am so grateful and blessed because I know things haven’t always been easy for him. He obviously is not perfect! Lol he has his challenges.. I think this year is one of the hardest. It has been difficult with the pandemic as he has gone full online schooling and there is no interacting in person. Kids and teenagers really need to be interacting and socializing. It’s very unhealthy for the mind to be cooped up … so I do have him do work outs at home, take walks, and try to stay busy productively. He was into basketball when he was younger but not as much anymore. He likes to draw so finding hobbies is a good idea too. The video games tend to drive me a little crazy I don’t mind it for a bit but these kids want to play all day! It’s too much & I feel like the phones can be a problem too for anyone’s mental state. You have to unplug and regroup even us adults should be doing that.
Time goes by too fast I feel as though I blinked and he is 2 years away from being 18! I think back on all our memories together. Some other advice I would give is to spend as much time as you can with your kids even if your a working mom. I know it’s hard trust me I’ve worked since I was 16 and never stopped… I only have ever been off work when I was on maternity leave. I’m a hustler! Lol but anyway try to stay in the moment with them as much as you can. I know life is hard and It’s even harder as a single mom if your going through this your not alone and I am sending you lots of hugs and positive prayers and vibes💞. If your having a hard day or going through something emotional suppress those feelings while your with your kids if you can because they can feel your vibes and your energy they are more in tune than you think. Once they are in bed cry it out, talk with a family member/ friend, and have some self care time and then regroup.
Are you a parent of a teenager or a single mom? What is the hardest part for you ?
Comment below with any advice !